Good morning, faithful readers. It's once again Sunday Morning in America, and the networks are pimping out their best talking heads. I'm pimping our Sunday Morning Liveblog. I hope that all of you watching today will pimp me a comment or an email. That would be pimptastic of you! Pimpity pimp pimp McPimp. All right. Let's watch these whores!
Fox News Sunday
All right! Chris Wallace is out at Camp David for a Fox News Sunday interview! I feel so special! I imagine there will be all sorts of tough and withering questions! Chris Wallace talks about how Camp David is like a Disneyland for failed Middle East Peace talks.
Bush is wandering around, complaining that the "job follows you wherever you go." He says he's someone who "doesn't wish for something that can't happen." The Iraq War kind of figures heavily into both those statements, but nobody tell the President! He might start crying!
Bush expounds on McCain, and deems him a "conservative." What does Bush think about the crazy-ass things Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter have said about him? John will have to convince them. He says the job of the nominee is to "rally the party." Huh. I'd gave thought that the job of the nominee is to "demonstrate their fitness to lead the country." But this is Bush we're talking about. And this is America we're talking about. And this is the 2008 Election we're talking about.
Bush hopes that voters consider the candidates' "principles," and how well they hid how coked up they are.
Chris Wallace totally dogs out Mike Huckabee for his "arrogant, bunker mentality" comment. Chris Wallace is like, "OOOOooooh! Did you hear what Mike Huckabee said about you? Did you? Did you?" Wallace so wants a pat on the head.
"If you're looking for perfection you'll never find it. I wasn't a perfect president!" I think a lot of people would say Bush did achieve a near-perfect rating in the category of craptasticness. Bush thinks that voters need to ask about which candidate is best equipped to handle the crazy-ass, danger-filled world he's leaving for them.
Bush says that he doesn't think Bill Clinton's a racist. In discussing Clinton's role with his wife's campaign, he begs off comment, saying that there's nothing he can add. What about how you were the son of a former President, Wallace asks. "There's a difference between fathers and sons and husbands and wives." This feels like a psychological breakthrough has just occurred.
"I'm just a simple President." EXCELLENT.
Look at the FISA bill, he says! We believe that a ton of time and tax dollars should be spent tapping American citizens without a warrant. The Democrats believe we ought to just put terrorists under surveillance! Now, how will Americans come to have a healthy fear of unitary executive power under the Democrats' plan?
The way Bush easily deploys the terms "robust" and "pro-growth" indicates he's got a bright future ahead of him, joining Bob Dole as an ED-treatment pitchman.
Can't wait for my tax rebate, by the way. I'm going to use it pay down debt and place the rest of it in savings, because I hate America!
What's going to happen when we draw down to pre-Surge levels of troops? Well, there will still be a SURGE of platitudes! "Success is Paramount!" Look, we worked very hard, sitting back, allowing the ethnic cleansing of Baghdad to happen. I hope that the de-surge doesn't lead to a re-surge in violence. Really, I hope it doesn't happen. But I'm not betting my tax rebate on it.
"We're the guests of a sovereign government," the President says. This has given me the chance to laugh heartily! Ahhhh, that feels good. You know, people who laugh every day live longer! And there's nothing funnier than the notion that Iraq has a sovereign government.
Eek. Now he's talking about waterboarding. Bush basically says that all the waterboarding is legal until it becomes illegal, and anyway, America, did you know waterboarding SAVED YOUR LIFE? Did you know waterboarding CAUGHT THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN PASS IN THE SUPERBOWL? Did you know waterboarding ended the writers' strike and will be the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL? That's right, Bush wants us to feel ASHAMED for hating on torture because it prevented "attacks." He is, of course, JUST MAKING CRAP UP, but hey! In his IMAGINATION, those attacks were pretty devastating.
"So, are we going to get to go to war with Iran? Because we could really use the ratings!" Wallace asks. Bush says that the NIE basically said whatever he wants it to say.
Chris Wallace reads Bush a quote from Peggy Noonan about how he ruined the Republican Party. "History will judge me! We haven't had an attack! I'm just going to pretend that wages are up! I said something neat to CPAC." He seems most excited about having removed Saddam Hussein, which forced his father to finally love him. Hilariously, this is the line of questioning that Wallace takes up. "Shallow psychobabble," Bush calls it, "People who have too much time on their hands." He says he has the "unconditional love of his father." He's not risk-averse because of this love. Then he gets mad at critics. He's basically saying, "Historians don't know about my dad! My dad loves me! HISTORY WILL MENTION THAT MY DAD LOVES ME!"
BUSH'S LETTER TO THE NEXT PRESIDENT: "I would say that occupying the White House is a huge honor. Savor every minute. Stay focuses on your beliefs. Rely on a higher power to get you through the day." TRANSLATION: "Presidenting is teh neat! You get to nap a lot and exercise. Try to take lots of vacations. And God help you."
PANEL TIME: Brit Hume says Obama will be winning all the states from now until Wisconsin. Mara Liasson basically says that everything will come down to superdelegates. So don't even bother voting. Kristol basically believes that Ohio and Pennsylvania aren't reliable firewalls for Clinton, and there's a extent to which he could be right - after all, that "lay back and wait in you firewall states" strategy didn't work for Giuliani. At the same time, I have to question it because Bill Kristol is the one saying it.
Juan Williams says that black and white voters are splitting over this decision. Uhm...he should check the demographics of last night's contests.
Meanwhile, Huckabee is hard to dismiss as a candidate. At the very least, Hume says, McCain will have to keep campaigning. He also thinks that conservatives should shut up and let McCain tack to teh center and win the election.
THIS WEEK WITH GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
Debate of surrogates! Tim Kaine versus Martin O'Malley. O'Malley is asked how he will stop Obama's momentum. He says, "Uhm. It's an exciting race." GS says, "Yeah, you have a point there!" Except he doesn't. Time Kaine is doing a great job controlling that rogue eyebrow of his.
Referring you Clinton, GS asks, "Can the Democrats afford to have a nominee that's losing 80-90% of the African-American vote?" That's kind of a dumb question. Those voters will obviously coalesce behind whatever nominee the Dems put forth. O'Malley basically notes this.
Neither man seems to be that excited to talk about Bill Clinton and his role in the White House. Lots of platitudes that you've heard before. O'Malley makes a 9-11 reference - which only sort of demonstrates what a neophyte he is. Neither one of these guys seems to be that great a "get" for a Sunday Show. The best thing you can say for Kaine is that he's slightly more seasoned. Neither man is doing anything more than dully reciting talking points and platitudes. GS is really trying to provoke, but he's failing. O'Malley may have had a fistful of Ambien before appearing here, he's so dull. Kaine is comparatively alert, but just as dull.
Blah blah delegates, superdelegates, Florida, and Michigan. Kaine thinks there could be a do-over. O'Malley thinks that Clinton has won some much "cooler" states. Like, New York is just so much better than Kansas and Louisiana.
Over to the Republican side, GS has Virginia Congressman Tom Davis and felonious douchebag Tom DeLay. DeLay hates McCain, and seems to think that someone other than McCain won Super Tuesday. And McCain wouldn't do enough of the things he would do. He really thinks the base will stay home. Tom Davis sort of echoes what Brit Hume said earlier: McCain is plenty conservative, and conservatives should let him tack to the moderates and independents to win the election.
DeLay weirdly suggests that it's not McCain's "position" that bothers conservatives: "He just needs to answer questions...on issues...and the positions he's taken...that, uhm...bother conservatives."
Is anyone out there REALLY impressed with Tom DeLay as a pundit? If so, would anyone care to tell me why? He basically mixes up the soggiest conventional wisdom with stuff that just sound straight out inane--not inane in terms of content...inane in terms of, "Oh...let me string some phrases together...it's about timing...the reality on the ground...build a coalition...we need to move fowards, not backwards...upwards, not forwards...and always twirling, TWIRLING!" Like DeLay's memorized a bunch of buzz phrases and just strings them together.
PANEL TIME: George Will says Michigan and Florida sets the stage for a "donnybrook in Denver." No matter what you think about Will, you've got to love the way he keeps great words from the lexicon alive, like "donnybrook." Most of us bloggers have chosen "kerfuffle" as our term of choice. But what about "donnybrook," y'all? Melee? Folderol? I don't know why we have all these words in the English language. And someday, someone will have to explain why in the world we need a word like "avuncular" - a word that has more syllables than it's definition ("uncle-like"). But hey, let's USE THEM.
Okay, enough with the up-with-synonyms. I feel like every part of this discussion: primaries, Florida, demographics, superdelegates, brokered convention...is something that we'll be talking about all week, next week, the week after that. Sam Donaldson says that if you drink Chardonnay, you like Obama. Brazile thinks Clinton really connects with women. Chardonnay drinking ladies? Well, they burst into flames!
Every single one of these panelists have built a case for both candidates, and they've spoken with supreme, sage, conviction while doing so.
George Will used the words "metronomic" and "metabolic," though.
How does John McCain win the hearts of conservatives? Uhm...give them lots of free money? Promise to not tax it? Torture a Muslim? Yell, "SPEAK ENGLISH!" at any random Hispanic? Winning the hearts of conservatives is pretty easy, actually!
Sam Donaldson says Anne Coulter will appear nude on the cover of her next book. So, yeah....now I'm pretty terrified.
Now they're talking about the possibility of a David Petraeus Vice-Presidency. Thank God I've already been primed with the thought of Anne Coulter naked. A David Petraeus vice-presidency doesn't seem quite so apocalyptically stupid or soul-searing.
Will says, "The winner of the Mississippi Valley usually wins the Presidency." Doesn't every state, and every region, claim that they are the bellwether that determines the Presidency?
An emailer, Chris Blakely, tells us that he's already sent Chris Wallace an email that draws an essential comparison that's worth mentioning:
According to President Bush, "We are there (Iraq) at the request of a sovereign government (how could you let me get away with that statement?)" You sure would not let either Clinton get away with such an outrageous statement. Your demeanor with President Bush sure differs from the demeanor you had when you interviewed Clinton -- you know the interview you like to talk about (been there, done that) and
play the victim about.
Yes. If you ever needed to learn precisely what "fawning" means, just watch today's Bush interview and the last sitdown Wallace gave Bill Clinton.
The Chris Matthew Show
Time to dive into the pre-taped maelstrom of asininity that is Chris Matthews. Today we have Katty Kay, Ron Allen, Patrick Healy and Ann Kornblut.
Healy says that Obama looks strong in February, which is exactly what Matthew's wants to hear. Kornblut agrees that Obama is on the best footing. Kay notes that the conventional wisdom favors Clinton in Ohio and Texas. But, she makes a pretty trenchant note about the Hispanic vote - in places where there isn't the black-Hispanic tension (like Colorado), Obama has done well. Texas may be more like Colorado than California. Ron Allen won't put Obama in the "traditional paradigms." Okay...but traditional paradigms get traditional for a reason.
First mention of "superdelegates." Allen says this is about "emotion." But that doesn't necessarily favor Obama - Democrats seem to be enthusiastic in general, about both candidates. Katty Kay notes that the latest of the late-breakers break for Clinton. Actually--this reminds me: I should see if that trend continued last night.
Matthews notes that Obama polls better in head-to-head polls with McCain. That's stayed pretty consistent, and it's an important part of Obama's case. I sort of feel cautious about this: polls have been badly wrong, and there have been titanic shifts in polls all year. Remember when Rudy looked unbeatable? Remember Obama's twelve-point lead in California? How can we assume that McCain won't make up the difference after he launches a national campaign? How can we be sure Clinton can't--turnout on the Democratic side of these primaries has looked immense and intense.
Does McCain get an advantage with the Dems still deciding? Katty Kay says no: "Who will be talking about McCain?" I agree with this line of thinking.
Matthews runs my favorite clip from The Untouchables: "They put one of yours in the hospital, you put two of theirs in the morgue." Matthews affinity for this scene, naturally, causes me to question whether I am an idiot for liking it. (The movie does rip off The Battleship Potemkin pretty badly.) Chris Matthews just ruins everything for me!
Matthews takes up the issue of McCain and his difficulty attracting the orthodox conservative elites. Allen says McCain will get their votes. And why shouldn't he? There's a lot more to the conservative base than the CPAC sheep who do what Laura Ingraham tells them to do. Who else are they going to vote for? I seriously doubt they'll follow Anne Coulter and campaign for Hillary. McCain's a pretty reliable conservative, I'm afraid. Besides, when you're Rush Limbaugh, your American life is pretty much great no matter who is the president. He's rich, he gets to sit around and yak all day, he access to pills, and nobody wants him to go fight in our deadly ass wars, because he'd be useless. Plus, a Democrat in the White House would probably be good for business - a line of discussion Matthews sorta kinda promised to take up in depth but then didn't.
Tell Chris something he doesn't know! Kay says students specifically like Obama. Uhm, this wasn't the case in Massachusetts or California! Allen tells him that he's always wanted to be on Chris' show. Must be great to have such low standards for life experiences. Kornblut informs Chris that the relationship between Clinton and McCain will haunt both of them. (Which means she predicts Clinton will take the nomination?) Healy says no one's broached the topic of dropping out with Clinton. Uhm, duh: why would they?
Who benefits from having a bunch of new debates? I don't know. I think that America deserves a long, long break from debates. I think if I have to suffer through five more debates, I might drive a white-hot railroad spike through my brain.
Meet The Press
Ahh, Meet The Press and it's melodramatic music. Mike Huckabee is on. And we'll have another huge talk about superdelegates.
Speaking of superdelegates, would it surprise you to learn that there exist superdelegates that DO NOT EVEN KNOW THEY ARE SUPERDELEGATES? It is true, I'm afraid. And that basically tells you everything you need to know about how massively cocked up this election could be.
Wow! Ron Paul got 21% of the vote in Washington State! A bronze medal!
Huckabee is happy, calls his wins a surprise but a success. And none of his supporters have told him to leave the race. Huckabee thinks he'll get the "Kansas bump" - which sort of sounds like some kind of old-timey barn dance.
Russert shows Huckabee a video of Mitt Romney's tortured rationale for dropping out of the race. So what about it Huckabee? Isn't your campaign a campaign for al-Qaeda? Huckabee says "that's nonsense." He says, "Competition breeds excellence." So, uhm...look for McCain or Huckabee to start getting "excellent" any day now.
Huckabee points out that the two "civil" campaigns are the ones that are left. Which is a nice way of saying that Mitt Romney is a dumbass.
Huckabee wants Rush Limbaugh to know that he totally loves him and his "sharp tongued zingers." Way to be your own man, Huck!
So apparently, some freakazoid preacher Kenneth Copeland raised a bunch of money for Huckabee, which I guess violates election laws? Huckabee honeys over the whole issue. Charles Grassley has objected to it. Huckabee says Grassley is a great guy! Everyone's a great guy! That's all between them, anyway: "This is not an issue I'm dealing with as a candidate for President." BUT YOUR CANDIDACY IS FUNDED BY THIS MONEY! Eventually, Huck says, Copeland will provide Grassley with answers. Just after his candidacy is decided.
Huck says, "It's a little chilling. Does this mean that Congress is going to go after all non-profit organizations?" Uhm...no. They'll hopefully, however, go after the TAX-EXEMPT ORGANIZATIONS that are barred by law from supporting political candidacies! Of course, Tim Russert, as usual, is too stupid to see the obfuscation going on under his nose. Instead, he moves on to three gotcha moments that aren't gotcha moments - Huck's got an answer for everything.
Okay: officially, Huckabee does not want to be vice-president, and doesn't expect to be asked. But then, nobody turns it down! But he might! And Huckabee's a somebody! Or a nobody! It's a miracle! Miracle!
Huckabee ate some fried squirrel in college. Cooked in a popcorn popper. Frankly, having supped the weekend dinners at the University of Virginia, I don't blame him.
Time for the Meet The Press panel. Russert goes to Chuck Todd for the low-down on delegates. Good move! One thing that was left unsaid on Super Tuesday - and I regret not having mentioned it - was that Todd really did a good job crunching the numbers. I'm pretty sure his prediction of the Tuesday delegate count was only off by one or two. Todd's an early favorite for emerging from this campaign season as the next sage political expert. He's got a good grasp of the intricacies, and if he's got an axe to grind, he keeps it buried.
Obama has big leads in Maryland and Virginia, but if you listen carefully, you'll hear Russert mention, "The undecideds, still 20, still high." How high? Twenty-what? Got to point out, big Obama leads have evaporated from poll to post, and in the wake, we always seem to have a high number of UNDECIDEDS. This is the problem with the obsession with horse race polling - there are a lot of horses, perhaps enough to swing the polls around, who aren't even on the track yet. And we'll point out again, that through Super Tuesday, the last ponies to cross the finish line picked Clinton overwhelmingly.
At last, someone makes an attempt to explain what superdelegates are. Unfortunately, Russert still allows a little bit of vagaries. Former U.S. Presidents and Veeps are SUPER, as are Governors, Senators, and Members of the House. But then we get to "distinguished party leaders" and "party activists." Whatever that means. I'd like to see a list of them all. The way they're shrouded in mystery reminds me of the Motion Picture Association of America's ratings board.
David Broder says he doesn't know what's going to happen. Progress! Russert says things like: "There's a lot of voting to do." And: "The superdelegates are really in play." He quotes Tad Devine and Donna Brazile, neither of whom seem to believe the superdelegates shouldn't decide the election. What's the point of them, then? You can't help but think that "superdelegacy" is just a stupid way of keeping the party "celebs" close to the nomination process. Make them feel important. Don't let the normal citizens have too much of the spotlight.
They next take up the topic of Michigan and Florida. What a mess. Apparently, the insiders who punished the states in the first place and the insiders who might reinstate their delegations aren't the same group of people? And the Democratic party would pay for additional caucuses. Broder says it's hard to imagine that those two states wouldn't be at the convention. But the DNC cancelled the Michigan delegation's hotel rooms!
I've had some emails over the course of the morning from perfectly normal people whose heads are spinning at the wide divergence in delegate counts from news bureau to news bureau. I know that it sometimes seems that one source might me giving one candidate or another the edge out of seeming bias. I wish I could speak to that, but I can't. It really is terribly confusing keeping track of all these numbers, and I haven't really caught anybody doing an outright nefarious job. Yet, anyway. I think that on the Democratic side, the proportioning of delegates is tricky, there are bonuses based on the size of the win, the news orgs are probably still divided on how to count New Mexico, some may have jumped the gun on assuming totals from last night's elections, and I really think there's little more than rumor and sigh behind the calculations of where the superdelegates stand at this moment. It's frustrating that there isn't one, single, consistent line being reported across the board. But then, math isn't the media's strong suit - many of them still believe it's fair to report that Huckabee's 30 percent sales tax proposal is REALLY a 23% tax.
Meanwhile, the panel wants to point out that "Not McCain" is still polling pretty well. Joe Scarborough is talking about a Goldwater landslide. But Broder feels McCain is a formidable candidate, and I have a hard time disagreeing on the merits. But you never know: McCain's age could become a major factor in the race come the middle of the year. There could be a "heaven forfend" moment - something no one wants to see happen, like Iraq disintegrating or, closer to home, a health scare. McCain's support could crumble. But I just don't think Limbaugh and Coulter are going to keep people home. They'll inspire complaint, get people jawing, and probably cause a lot of nose-holding at the polls, but ultimately, I think McCain will get enough votes from the base to be a formidable opponent throughout the race.
Come next week, we'll have had a bunch of new primaries and caucuses. And probably more inconsistent counts of delegates. And probably not much new in terms of storyline. Can the nation survive a protracted discussion of superdelegates? Of how conservatives fail to embrace McCain? Of Clinton's Ohio/Texas firewall? I think not. Maybe next weekend would be a great time for some substantive reporting or something!
Ha! Just kidding. Oh well. Thanks for the emails and comments, people. I hope everyone has a pleasant Sunday and a prosperous week!